Resounding Silence
by Alasse Earfalas
Summary: She can't talk, and he refuses to. How, then, will they work out their feelings regarding what happened in chapter 392? HitsuHina, Rangiku Matsumoto, Hanatarou Yamada, & Captain Unohana


"Excuse me." Hanatarou Yamada slid the door open, a tray of food in his hand. "I have your din- huh?"

The room was dark; the curtains drawn. The patient lay on the bed, his back to the door, all but his head covered by the thin, white blanket. A full tray of food sat on a small table by his bed.

_Um… Maybe someone already brought his dinner…?_ Hanatarou stepped closer. "AH! This is your lunch! Oi! I… I know it may not be the best food, b-but, you need to eat, Hitsugaya-taichou!"

Nothing.

No response. No, "I don't want to", "Go away", or even an acknowledging grunt. The prodigy just lay there, motionless, unresponsive, the only sign of life being the slight rise and fall of the blanket covering him.

"O-oi…" Hanatarou stepped up to the bed, reaching his hand out as if to shake the boy awake. "Hitsugaya-taichou, are you-"

"Don't touch him."

"WAAHH!" Hanatarou jumped back and looked around frantically, until he saw Rangiku Matsumoto sitting in the corner by the window. "M-Matsumoto-fukutaichou…"

"I've tried everything already." Her voice was soft, barely audible. "He… won't respond. He just lays there. I even tried getting amanattou, his favorite…" She closed her eyes, grief spread across her every feature.

"Um…" Hanatarou looked at the little Captain, then back at Rangiku. "How long has it been… since he's eaten anything?"

"I don't know. Days." She looked up at him, trying to smile. "Don't worry about it. You can leave the food if you want to, but… I doubt he'll eat it…"

"I-I see…" Hanatarou looked at the tray in his hands. "I'm so sorry… I, was just assigned to him a few hours ago, so… I didn't know…"

"It's fine."

"…Hey, what about you?"

She attempted another smile. "I'll get something here in a little while."

"Right… I guess I'll just… take this back, then…" He picked up the lunch tray, replaced it with the dinner tray, then bowed sheepishly. "Excuse me."

l***l

Rangiku watched as the door slid closed behind Hanatarou. Her eyes drifted to the face of her Captain. His eyes were shut, as if he were sleeping. She hadn't seen them open since…

A tear rolled down her cheek. She remembered hearing him scream - no, _wail in sheer agony_ during the battle with Aizen last week. She knew what happened. She had even _expected_ him to be depressed and more reclusive than usual afterwards.

But _this?_

It broke her heart. His physical wounds had all healed up, but his heart was still torn to pieces. Worst of all, she couldn't get him to snap out of it. She'd tried everything. _Everything_. No matter what she said, no matter what she _did_, he wouldn't respond.

…well, almost.

There was only one thing he'd respond to, and even then, it was hit-and-miss: the mentioning of Momo Hinamori. It was never much; usually, he'd just stir slightly, wrapping the blanket even tighter around him. That was it. _If_ that.

She wiped the tear from her face, then stood up, and went to his bedside. She gently brushed his snow-white hair back out of his face. "I'm going to go check on her," she said, silently praying for a response. His reiatsu was so thin, yet so heavy with heartache… "I'll be back in a couple of hours. Please…" She swallowed, her voice at a whisper. "Please at least _try_ to get up… Taichou…"

l***l

"How is she?"

Captain Unohana looked up to see Rangiku in the doorway. Unohana was well aware of her fellow Captain's condition, so she knew the main reason why Rangiku checked on Momo so often. "You have good timing, Matsumoto-fukutaichou. I think she's about to come to."

Sure enough, a few moments later, Momo opened her eyes. She blinked a few times, looked at Unohana, then over at Rangiku, who greeted her with a smile.

"Hey there," Rangiku said, struggling to hide the pain in her face. "You feeling better?"

Momo blinked at her, her mouth still covered by the mask she'd been hooked up to. She made a few vocalizations, a desperate look in her eyes.

"I can only take the mask off for a minute," Unohana said. "After that, you'll need to rest some more." She carefully removed the mask from Momo's face.

"Rangiku-san…" Momo's hand reached out, grabbing Rangiku's robes. She was so weak that she could barely talk. "Where… Shirou-chan…?"

As much as she tried, Rangiku could no longer hide the pain she felt. "In his room, a few doors down. He's… resting."

"Can… I need… to see him…" Her grip tightened. "Please… Rangiku-san…"

Rangiku looked up at Unohana.

"He may not be able to come right away," Unohana said, "but it wouldn't hurt to try." She gave Rangiku a firm nod.

l***l

_Pain_.

That's all he felt now. No more anger. No more sadness. Just pure, undiluted, bone-freezing _pain_.

He had failed.

His job, his power, his _life_ was to protect her. Nothing else mattered. She was _everything_ to him: his joy, his hope, his light, his _heart_.

And he had…

Of course he knew it wasn't his fault. That wasn't the point. The point was that _his_ sword had pierced _her_ heart.

He had nearly _killed_ her.

He felt dead inside. A thousand ice-daggers ripped through his heart. How could he possibly speak to her again? What would he say? What _could_ he say?

And if she died…

"Hey, Taichou."

It was Rangiku's voice. He knew it well.

"Hinamori's awake. She's asking for you."

l***l

Rangiku's heart leaped, cheered, and cried when she saw his eyes snap open. She wanted to scoop him up, hold him tight, and never let go. But, for once in her life, she practiced self-restraint. She'd gotten this far; she didn't want to lose what little ground she had.

"She wants to see you right away. Unohana-taichou said she's going to have to go back to sleep within the next few minutes, so if you want to see her, you need to go now."

His eyes closed.

Rangiku's heart plummeted. _No!_ He _couldn't_ go back! She'd gotten this far! "Taichou, _please!_" She couldn't take this anymore. Tears began falling from her eyes like rain. "Please, just go to her! She _wants_ to see you! Please…" She fell to her knees, overcome with emotion. "I… I can't take this… Taichou…"

"…is she?"

Rangiku blinked, then opened her eyes. Toushirou's eyes were open again, staring blankly ahead. "What…did you…?"

"What room?" His voice was barely louder than a whisper.

Her heart leaped again. "Second door down, on the right. But… Tai-"

His eyes closed.

Rangiku stared at the floor, wiping the tears from her eyes. "I see. You're… going to visit her later, aren't you?"

No response.

"…I understand. I'll… let her know." She stood up. Never before had she felt so relived and elated at the same time. "Thank you, Taichou." She stroked his hair once more before leaving the room.

l***l

"_Hinamori's awake. She's asking for you." _

_Asking for me…_

Toushirou opened his eyes. A single ray of silvery light seeped through the crack in the curtains. He didn't know what time it was, didn't care to. It was late; that's all that mattered.

He slowly propped himself up into a sitting position. The arm he'd been laying on was numb. He felt dizzy from sitting up after laying down for so long. His feet dangled off the edge of the bed; the distance to the floor seemed greater than he remembered.

After a moment, he slowly slid off the bed, landing shakily on his feet. His legs felt like Jell-o. He kept his hand on the edge of the bed for support. _She's… asking for me…_ he thought. _Why is she… asking for me…?_

He carefully worked his way around the foot of the bed, then along the wall to the door. His stomach was a black hole. His body was threatening to implode. _Second door down… on the right…_ He struggled to slide the door open just enough for him to fit through. Before stepping out of the room, he scanned the hallway.

It was empty.

He clung to the wall as best he could, trying to get to her room as quickly as possible. He didn't want to be seen. If someone saw him, they might try to speak to him.

He couldn't deal with that right now.

Finally, he reached her door. He knew she'd be asleep. It was a good thing. Although he knew she wanted to see him, it was still painful for him to even so much as _think_ about her.

He slid the door open, stepped inside, and closed it behind him. He swallowed hard, knowing he'd have to glance at her bed to make sure he'd gotten the right room.

He looked up.

He felt the sharp, cold pain of his own zanpakuto being thrust through his heart as his eyes registered the image of her laying motionless on the bed. He sank to the floor, his knees bending as his back slid down the wall next to the door. He closed his eyes, hiding his face between his knees. Tears were coming.

He didn't move again until morning.

l***l

Bright, warm sunlight fell on Momo's eyelids. They fluttered open. She turned her head, wondering if anyone else was in the room.

Her eyes grew wide. _Shirou-chan…!_

He was sitting by the door, his face buried in his knees, his arms wrapped limply around his legs. _He looks so sad…_ It hurt her to see him like this, but she didn't blame him. She still remembered how horrible _she_ had felt for attacking him; she didn't even want to _imagine_ how much worse she would've felt if she'd actually hurt him…

The mask was still on her face. She was sure her vocalizations wouldn't be loud enough to wake him up, but… she needed him to come closer…

There was a small table next to her bed with a wooden cup on it. She reached over to grab the cup, but knocked it over instead. It rolled out of reach and fell to the floor.

l***l

A _clunk_ jolted Toushirou awake. He didn't move, or even open his eyes. There was still too much pain…

Muffled cries of the sweetest voice filled his ears. He clenched his hands, afraid to look up.

"_She's asking for you."_

He had to risk it.

Slowly, he looked up. His eyes were met with something he'd seen many times before, but that was much more painful to look at now: Momo's large, beautiful, innocent, brown eyes. She was looking directly at him. He had to look away; he couldn't bear to see the pain he'd brought her…

Her whimpering continued. He knew she wanted him to come closer. He swallowed hard. He still didn't understand _why_ she wanted to see him…

He forced himself to stand up. His legs were still shaky. Somehow, he managed to hobble to the chair that was by her bed.

Strange… he didn't remember seeing a chair here last night…

He sat down, unable to look at her. Just being this close to her was hard enough. He wanted to shrink into nothing, fade out of her mind, so she wouldn't remember the pain he'd caused her…

Her small hand came into his field of vision. What was she…?

l***l

Momo took Toushirou's hand, hoping to console him with the gesture. _It's okay, Shirou-chan. I forgive you. You don't need to feel bad anymore._

l***l

Wha…? What was she _doing?_ _No!_ She didn't get it! He had _failed_ her! He didn't _deserve_ this! He… _NO!_

He pulled his hand back, his eyes and fists squeezed shut. He was filth. Trash. Completely unworthy of her pure, delicate touch. She needed to understand this. She needed to understand the magnitude of what he'd done…

l***l

_Shirou-chan…?_ Why had he recoiled? Was he angry at her? _No, that's not it. He still looks sad…_

Something else caught her attention. _His reiatsu! It's… so thin… I can barely feel it… Has he been eating? What… what has he been __**doing**__ to himself? …Oh no… He couldn't…!_

She remembered the way he had screamed after accidentally stabbing her. She had been too much in shock to realize it at the time, but she had since been told that Aizen had tricked Toushirou into thinking that she was Aizen. _He… he hates himself… for hurting me…! Oh no! Shirou-chan, you don't have to hate yourself! It was an accident! Don't you… know that…?_

_I don't get it… he was so quick to forgive me for attacking him… Why is he beating himself up so bad over this?_

She wished she could just take the mask off and tell him what she was thinking, but Captain Unohana had specifically told her to leave it on until she came in to visit her early this afternoon. _What should I do? He's so depressed… I've never seen him this bad. He's not even saying anything…_

Her eyes caught a bit of the scar Aizen had given him. _Maybe… if I…_

l***l

Toushirou felt Momo's hand on his robe, but didn't bother to open his eyes. His entire body was shaking. He couldn't tell whether it was from the lack of food, or from the emotional stress he was under. Like it mattered.

He flinched when her fingers touched his most recent scar. It was the cut Aizen had made almost immediately after revealing Momo's real location. _Why is she…?_ He forced himself to open his eyes and look at her.

She was gazing at his scar with a look that was… almost reverence, but mixed with a heavy dose of sadness. His heart squeezed. He… never remembered her looking at him like that before…

l***l

_He was trying to protect me…_ Momo allowed her hand to gently trace the scar. _And he got hurt, because of it… Is that why he's so upset? Does he… feel like a failure, because…?_ She looked back at his face. He returned the gaze for a second or two, then looked away.

…_He does!_

She couldn't figure out how she hadn't noticed it before. He'd _always_ been over-protective of her. Even back when they attended the Shinigami academy together, he'd always beat up anyone who so much as slapped her.

But now…

l***l

Toushirou felt his cheeks flush a little. _What… was that look she gave me? I… don't get any of this…_

He felt her fingers brush against his jaw, and then his cheek. His cheeks flushed a little more. He wanted to turn away from her touch, but, for some reason… he didn't. Something about it was making him stay put. He chanced a couple of glances at her. She was never looking directly into his eyes, but she was still giving him that look of pained reverence.

Her hand suddenly moved to the top of his robe. Before he knew it, she was pulling him towards her. "O-oi-!" His nutritionally deprived body was too weak to resist her; his upper body practically fell on top of her, his forehead landing on her collarbone. _What the heck… is she doing…!_

_Da-dum. Da-dum. Da-dum._

…her heartbeat…

He started trembling again. He knew what she was doing now. He had stabbed her through the heart, but… her heart was still intact…

Half of him wanted to tear away from her, run back to his room, and shut down again. Fortunately, his body was no longer physically capable of doing that. Which meant his only option was to stay here, listening to her fully-functional, unbroken heart…

Tears came.

l***l

Momo shed a tear of her own when she heard him start crying. _It's okay, Shirou-chan; you don't have to cry. But, if you need to, you can cry. Cry for as long as you need to, okay? Just…_ She wrapped her other arm around him. _Please stay here… for as long as you can…_

l***l

It was around ten o'clock in the morning by the time Rangiku arrived at the fourth squad barracks, a box in hand. She walked right past her Captain's old room, knowing he wouldn't be there. _I hope no one moved the chair I put by her bed earlier this morning,_ she thought as she stepped up to the room where Momo was staying.

She entered the room and smiled. _Aww, kawai!_ Toushirou appeared to be asleep in Momo's arms, who was asleep as well. _They're just so cute together!_ She walked up to the table, picked up the cup that was on the floor, and set the box on the table next to it. _There we are!_ She smiled again at the two, resisting the urge to tousle her Captain's hair. _Sweet dreams, Captain. _

_Enjoy your watermelon._

~END~


End file.
